It is so funny how if we let ourselves be open for it, we see that pearls of wisdom are cast before us and not necessarily from the places we expect. Several people have commented to me on my marriage ending and given me great insight that I hadn't considered before. Thanks to all my friends for helping me through this time. Some of the wonderful things they are showing me:
1. I was feeling sorry for myself and lonely. My friend mentioned to me that her husband was sitting right next to her and yet she was still lonely as hell. That made me consider how long I have been an "alone" married person.
2. Another friend reminded me that I can not assume the role of the victim or the cause, that it just happens. Assuming either of those roles is not healthy or productive for anyone. Sometimes people just don't grow at the same speed. When that happens, they grow apart. It isn't anyone's fault.
3. There ARE opportunities for the future. I just need to allow that I CAN be happy, I am allowed and I deserve it. Now if it just wasn't so overwhelmingly scary.
The question that remains...can I rise above it, can I be the person that I am meant to be? Can I allow myself to be happy and take all the wonderful opportunities that are before me or will I run away from life like the scared person I always think I am? Can we really change how we think and believe? Is it as simple as trying? We are going to see...
Thanks everyone! Tomorrow, I will post the New Year's goals :-). I figure if I put them out there, I will have lots of people checking and making me accountable.
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I'm glad people have been giving you good advice. I'm sure I wouldn't have much to offer on this subject, other than marriage can get very complicated at times, and even those of us who find ways to become recompatible at times have to run a sticky gamut every now and again. I think marriage is very complicated even under the very best circumstances. I don't think there are very many people who fall under the category of idealized circumstances (matching values, goals, and ideals that change at the same rate over time). The existentialists believe it's the nature of the human condition to be alone...something about it being up to us to make a life for ourselves that we value. I like Viktor Frankl He lost everything in the Holocaust, and still went on to become an amazing and inspiring individual on an international basis. Hang in there! We are happy you are here with us! (seems Michael and Daniela are especially so)
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